I think the biggest thing at first was the uncertainty and fear that was generated. At some point we recognized that no one was really at the wheel, we didn’t have clarity on what was safe, what worked and what didn’t. I remember a colleague saying, “No one is coming for us” and how we all felt we could only rely on ourselves and each other. The things we’d taken for granted that would be there were not. We couldn’t be sure if we would get supplies, if we would get sick, if we would die, or if we’d bring this into our homes and endanger our families.  We missed hugs and normal human interaction. We created elaborate cleaning rituals, bought whatever manner of PPE we could get (or made it ourselves).  And I remember the sense of camaraderie—like we were really going into battle together despite the risks. I remember feeling so grateful for the support of our work colleagues and for the neighbors who rang bells and played instruments every night in solidarity. For those who sacrificed by going to work and for those who sacrificed by staying home.  I also remember feeling anger and frustration at those who didn’t seem to care, who flaunted all recommendations and yet expected to be saved. I remember terror and exhaustion, scrambling to learn whatever we could about how to fight this thing and its spread…   It’s been a long haul, and it continues.

Noami, Emergency Department MD

Clackamas, OR